My Saviour
by SaidyLic21
Summary: Ina has a problem; her mum loves get-togethers. But there is food at get-togethers. And she CAN'T eat. At least she thinks so. (Little) story about a girl, struggling with an eating disorder and self-harm. Will someone be able to save her? Or will she destroy herself? Two-shot. Rated M to be safe.
1. Guilt

**You have to know..I absolutely can't stand all this cheesy happy-end love stories. But I fear this is going to be one of them anyway. I had this stuck in my head for a long time and needed to write it down. **

**Warning: self-harm, eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), intense emotions; may be triggering. Don't like, don't read.**

**I hope you enjoy and leave me a review! :) Also tell me, if I should discontinue my other story "Scars" because I'm really stuck with it right now and am not updating anyway. Thanks :)**

I was bent over my toilet, fingers down my throat, forcing myself to throw up all the food I had just eaten. The feeling was unbearable. Throwing up was even worse than not eating at all. I could feel the tears dripping down my face, mixed with my make-up. My stomach was in cramps, my throat burning. I was exhausted. "One more time," I told myself and for the last time this evening shoved two fingers down the back of my throat, throwing up the (hopefully) last bits of the food of today. The calories stayed in my body though. At least most of them. Drying my face, I slowly sat down on the floor, leaning against the bathtub. Torture.

I hated the get-togethers that my mum always organized. I didn't like big mobs of people and if all they do is eat, it's even worse. But it was Christmas. Well, December 26th to be exact. Every year my family (and some friends) come to our house and we (they) celebrate Christmas. With tons and tons of food and sweets and drinks, all full of calories.

The worst happening this year? My mum just recently became friends with the parents of my crush. He didn't even know who I was till today and now he was at my house downstairs. Eating and laughing and talking and not giving a single fuck about me. He would never like me. No matter how hard I tried, I would never be good enough. Too fat, too ugly, too disgusting, too_ imperfect_.

Thinking of him, I got up. I knew this feeling. I was having a full on panic attack. My stomach started to clench and I couldn't breath normally. I quickly grabbed my things and hurried to my room, muttering complete and utter shit and crying uncontrollably again. Once in my room, I collapsed on the carpet covered floor and reached for my blades. Needing relief and my control back, I started making cuts on my now bare wrists.

Choking on my sobs, I just sat there and cut. Once, twice, six times, twelve times and more. There were probably about 20 cuts on my forearms, all gushing blood, when I finally stopped. But the pressure, the pain, the voice, it all came back instantly. "You're fat! Why did you eat? And he saw you. You'll never be good enough for him! Just look at you! Disgusting." I thought.

Driven with fear I got back up and, without cleaning the fresh cuts, changed into my sport clothes. Like a maniac I lied down on the floor and started making squats and doing sit ups until my stomach hurt. Then changed positions and started the push-ups.

I was crying, or sobbing, non-stop, the tears still flowing freely down my face. "You have to do this. It hurts but it will be so worth it. _Just get this fat off!_" was what kept going through my mind and I think I murmered it between the sobs and pants.

Suddenly the door burts open and standing there was… Oh my….

**Cliffhanger haha I'm evil! Is it a good one? Update tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for reading and pleeease don't forget to review ;)**


	2. David

**Hey! I'm here. Probably my fastest update ever haha oh well. This is the second** **(and probably last) chapter. Did you like the first one? So short :/ enjoy this though :) **

My first thought? Honestly? "Oh shit! Why? I look so terrible. And OH FUCK my cuts!" I tried to hide my wrist behind my back, looking into the one face I wanted to see least. David. His gorgeous blue eyes filled with confusion and worry. He ran his hand through his blonde hair, looking at me. He slowly stepped forward a bit, obviously unsure of what to do. "Your mum send me to-" My senses bolted awake. "NO! Go away! Leave me alone! I don't want you here, I don't want you to see me." I screeched, rudely interrupting him in my panic.

I could still feel tears running down my cheeks. Why did that happen? Why is it always me? Why, why, why? As he started to come closer, I began pleading. "Please go. Please. I need to finish this. I need to burn the calories. I need to get that fat off me! Please." I looked at the ground while waiting for him to agree and close the door again.

Suddenly I felt a finger under my chin. "Why would you do this?" he asked me softly, lifting my face to look into my eyes. I tried to squirm away but he wouldn't let me. The tears wetted his hand but he didn't even notice. Or if he did, he didn't care. He just watched my face. I felt uncomfortable. He knew my darkest secret, I know he saw my cuts.

What to do now? I still needed to finish this work out. My mind was racing. I noticed that I had begun sobbing again. I pried my face away from his hand and curled up into a sitting ball, crying onto my knees. Why did everything have to go to hell? Feeling strong, warm arms around me I stiffened in surprise. Why was he still here? "Shh, shh, shh, it's okay." He whispered the whole time while gently rocking me. It was comforting and seemed so real. Like he seriously cared about me. But no.

Once the tears had slowed down a bit, he looked at me with a serious but pained expression on his perfect face. "Ina, please tell me what's wrong. Why are you so sad? Why would you ever hurt your beautiful body? What else did you do? Why. are. you. so. sad?" I only heard one word out of all this questions. "Beautiful?" I asked him, not believing him at all. "Huh?" "You called me beautiful." He smiled slightly, a sad expression still marking his features. "Yes." He whispered in my hair, sighing. A shiver ran through my spine and for a few moments it was just his breath on my head, his strong arms protecting me, calming me down. My eyes closed and I leaned into his chest.

Once my breath was steady and at normal speed again, he sat up straighter and silently asked me with his eyes to tell him everything. I sighed and looked down. "What do you want to know?" I didn't want to tell him. He would think I'm crazy. But he was still here. He had seen me and he was still there. So I could risk telling him that, right?

"Why did you rush upstairs so shortly after you were done eating?" I had a feeling he knew the answer. I exhaled shakily and felt his arms around me, reassuring me. "I..I needed the food out..too much calories.." I tried to hold back tears as guilt threatened to overwhelm me at the memory. I had been too weak to resist the food. I was a failure. Burying my face in David's neck I started taking deep breaths. "Did you make yourself throw up?" he asked after a pause. "Yes.." I answered, squeezing my eyes shut, fearing his reaction. "Then went back to your room and..cut?" "Yeah.." He pulled away slightly and looked into my eyes. "Let me see. Please. I won't judge." I searched in his face for any hint he was lying. When I found none, I slowly nodded, exhaled and held out my right arm for him to see.

As he took my hand into his, I looked away. Mostly because I didn't want to see his expression but also because I didn't want him to notice the shiver that ran through me at that simple motion. As he touched his index finger lightly to the deepest cut, I hissed. "Does it hurt?" he asked me, his voice gentle. I nodded, still looking at the floor.

"How long..?" The question I feared. "No, I-" "How. Long?" he asked again, interrupting me and pausing between each word. "A few months.." I told him hesitantly. He pulled me into a strong hug, not giving me any room to move. But sure, why would I need it? "I want you to listen to me right now." He started, making me stiffen. Would he ask me to go to a clinic or rehab? I couldn't do that. I was afraid of hospitals and similar.

"Ina, you are the most beautiful girl there is. And I mean that. In the whole world there is no one like you. You are special. And you're broken. You need help. And if you want me to, I'll always be here for you. I'll listen. My gosh, I care so much about you and it hurts me to see you so sad. So _please_, try to stop this. I can't lose you. Talk to me. Or we can get you a therapist. But you can't bottle up your emotions anymore and never let them out. Also..you really need to start eating again. You don't need to lose any weight. You're so perfect, Ina. So perfect it's seriously killing me. Please, girl, _please_ let me help you."

I was in shock. He had just told me that I was perfect. And that I have to stop the cutting and start eating again. No. NO! I couldn't do this. I would gain weight again. No! I looked up at him and I was sure my eyes were full of panic but I didn't care. "Why?" was all I asked him. He looked at me..lovingly? "Because I can't survive without you. I need you in my life. Please stay in my life and stay healthy. I'll help you with all my might. I promise to do everything I can to support you!" He stopped briefly, then continued. "And Ina? I love you."

I sat up straight all of the sudden, startling David to death. He looked at me questioning and I returned the look. "You serious?" was all I managed to choke out due to my shock. "Let me answer that like this, let me show you.." he whispered. Slowly he raised his hand up to my face and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, gently. As he cupped my cheek, I leaned into his palm and closed my eyes shortly to savor the moment. Opening them again, I could see his lips inches from mine, his blue eyes piercing into me. They were shining with sincerity.

As soon as his lips touched mine, fireworks went off in my head. Not literally but it felt like every nerve cell in my body was brought to life and exploding. It felt like I was drowning in the immense feelings of the kiss. It was magical. He pressed his soft lips against mine, carefully moving them until I started responding to him. I pressed myself harder against him as his tongue outlined my bottom lip and I tangled my hands in his hair. His one hand cupped my cheek and the other circled around my waist, bringing me closer to him. He gently bit my bottom lip and then pulled away slowly, panting slightly.

His forehead resting against mine, his eyes looking into mine, he spoke again. "I promise to help you through that. I need you in my life. Be mine?" he asked hopefully. "Yes." I breathed while he stroked the side of my head and I smiled. "Merry Christmas, David." He smiled too. "Merry Christmas, love."

Yes, he's my savior.

**End. Done. In one night. **

**Okay, so I know it's early for Christmas but I'm already in mood. I just wrote this because it's been stuck in my head. David is my crush and I just wish that would happen to me. Tell me what you think of the story? I kinda like it.**

**I'm gonna go to bed now, it's 2.12 am right now. Good night my lovely readers :)**

~**Sandra**


End file.
